P.S.
One more thing.
The woman who bought the second-floor condo from us has the mechanical aptitude of a boxcar of Carolina salamanders. She just rang the bell and showed me a brown jug of sludge the guy at the hardware store sold her. He’d said it’d clear out her clogged bathtub drain lickety-split, and did I think she should use it?
I took it from her carefully, having seen unknown substances explode from mishandling before, and read the label. POISON, TOXIC, DANGER DANGER DANGER, and so on. And then I came to a line that went, more or less:
“May result in a gout of hot acid from the drain immediately upon application; use extreme caution and wear safety goggles.”
There was more to that effect, but I didn’t need to read it. I handed the jug back to her and cleared my throat. “Look, ask this hardware guy in what world is a gout of hot acid a good thing? This stuff removes clogs by melting the pipes out from around them, but never mind that...you’re gonna spray acid in your eyes and you’re not doing the environment any good either. How about taking it back and trading it for a plumber’s snake?”
“I hate snakes,” she said. So I Smote her Dedd and Rejoined my Work.
The woman who bought the second-floor condo from us has the mechanical aptitude of a boxcar of Carolina salamanders. She just rang the bell and showed me a brown jug of sludge the guy at the hardware store sold her. He’d said it’d clear out her clogged bathtub drain lickety-split, and did I think she should use it?
I took it from her carefully, having seen unknown substances explode from mishandling before, and read the label. POISON, TOXIC, DANGER DANGER DANGER, and so on. And then I came to a line that went, more or less:
“May result in a gout of hot acid from the drain immediately upon application; use extreme caution and wear safety goggles.”
There was more to that effect, but I didn’t need to read it. I handed the jug back to her and cleared my throat. “Look, ask this hardware guy in what world is a gout of hot acid a good thing? This stuff removes clogs by melting the pipes out from around them, but never mind that...you’re gonna spray acid in your eyes and you’re not doing the environment any good either. How about taking it back and trading it for a plumber’s snake?”
“I hate snakes,” she said. So I Smote her Dedd and Rejoined my Work.
posted by GratefulEd | 9:18 AM
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